Why I Can't Escape Myself
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Perhaps it all has to do with the cold. Not the outer temperature, which was a fairly pleasant 40 degrees F., but my inner chill. Stepping outside the warm confines of Reformed orthodoxy, even if for a moment to sniff the outside air, left me feeling exposed, vulnerable, spiritually vacuous, and miserable. I closed the door and prayed the Efche, the Byzantine Jesus prayer: "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner." I prayed it over and over until I no longer felt like a traitor, and no longer felt cold.
We are mysteries unto ourselves, and crave the applause and esteem of the madding crowd, and yet remain content to let God wait until we have decided if we think he truly meant what he said, and whether or not we have the fortitude to attempt obedience. "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner."
{Now my definition of myself as a Reformed conservative: I am catholic (freely plundering the gold of the Egyptians (e.g., art, philosophy), and celebrating the gifts of the larger church), evangelical (the Bible alone is our authority in matters of faith and life), and Reformed (emphasizing God's sovereignty, providence, the solas of the Reformation, etc.). But one man's conservative is another's liberal, so my rejection of young-earth creationism might make me suspect in some quarters!}
We are mysteries unto ourselves, and crave the applause and esteem of the madding crowd, and yet remain content to let God wait until we have decided if we think he truly meant what he said, and whether or not we have the fortitude to attempt obedience. "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner."
{Now my definition of myself as a Reformed conservative: I am catholic (freely plundering the gold of the Egyptians (e.g., art, philosophy), and celebrating the gifts of the larger church), evangelical (the Bible alone is our authority in matters of faith and life), and Reformed (emphasizing God's sovereignty, providence, the solas of the Reformation, etc.). But one man's conservative is another's liberal, so my rejection of young-earth creationism might make me suspect in some quarters!}
5 Comments:
To my mind, Scott, you're a pretty good example of why tired, unimaginative labels like "conservative" and "liberal" don't do justice to anyone who's reasonably well-rounded, thoughtful, and spiritually and intellectually inquisitive. However you identify yourself, I appreciate your blog.
You say you gave a shot at trying to be "Emergent" (a term I am not sure I totally understnad myself) but the last paragraph sounds like the subtitle to Generous Orthodoxy by McLaren: "why I ama missional + evangelical + post/protestant + liberal + conservative + mystical/poetic + biblical + charasmatic/contemplative + fundamentalisits/calvinist + anabaptist/anglican + methodist + catholic + grean + incarnationall + depressed-yet-hopeful + emergent + unfinished +CHRISTIAN"
I agree with andrew. i thikn this makes you a thoughtful person who allows God to be God and not box him into theology. My friend John grew up LCMS and now studies Intelligetn Design and Astrophysics at UIC. His views on the creation of the world have made some in his church label im most liberal of liberals, yet he seems like mot lutherans i meet.
Thanks Andrew and Grant, I take great "comfort and joy" in your thoughtful comments. God bless you both.
Yes Steve, it's back to the Banner and Soli Deo Gloria books for me! I just finished Traill, and now I am about to read a collection of short pieces by Gerhardus Vos. Thanks for the support and interaction. Many blessings.
Home is so cozy, I often wonder why I stick my nose outside the comfortable bounds, then I realize that God didn't make all people in the same mold which is why we are never bored if we let loose the reins and let Jesus reign.
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