Wednesday, October 11, 2006


I've begun my third week at Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital today. I am feeling fine, mostly because I caught this relapse early, and also the chemotherapy used is Arsenic Trioxide, which has almost no side effects.

It is boring waiting for your leukemic cells to die off and be replaced by normal ones. The average wait is between 23-30 days. So I have some time yet. My room is a solo, as are all cancer rooms in this hospital, and the staff are great. Even the food, which you order by menu, isn't too bad. None of this would be bearable without the constant presence and support of my wife Deb, and the love my family and friends continually show me. The NHL season has started, so I am bummed by having to watch baseball. I miss my Rangers.

I don't know why this happened to me again. 80% of patients with my form of leukemia never replapse ~ so I guess I am special. I won't say that there are no theological implications here ~ there are plenty, but I am resisting getting angry with God. I console myself with dreams of moving to Florida to be near my parents and soon both of my daughters (who have been great through all of this ~ I love you Emmy and Sarah!). I would like to get through this and then feel the sun on my face. Prayer seems oddly futile at the moment. One just abandons oneself to divine providence, or what have you. I do thank God for my iPod, laptop, and PSP.

I can't have many visitors, as my white blood cells are still low, but I appreciate the cards, email, and phone calls. I get tired easily, so I will go back to reading. I am reading Douglas Adams' The Ultimate Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy. It is hysterical and just what I needed. Tomorrow my parents are coming for a visit, which should be nice. My advice to all who come across this is to Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old Time is still a-flying.

- Robert Herrick (1591-1674)


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